Personal log: Thursday afternoon

I'm feeling kind of spaced out and aimless, like I've drifted into some weird tumultuous outworld... an extra-dimensional malaise. I want Earth to make contact with intelligent, friendly aliens. Because it will bring us together for a minute until we fight about it. And because it would be a really good news story to follow for at least a couple of years. I'd be sitting at home thinking, "What to do, what to do..." and then I'd remember. Aliens! Here! Check it out!

And by within a few months there'd be an alien reality show, even if we couldn't communicate with them. It would probably be on Bravo, and they'd have annoying commercials. They could have Queer Eye for the Alien, too. Do aliens have fashion? We always assume that they'll be like us, or similar anyway. You know, except maybe a diferent color and with slime or scales or some other unearthly acoutrement. Also, I wonder if they'd actually be green. That would be weird. To see green things come out of a spaceship on CNN. And then I'd eat more Goldfish and go back to reading about movies, which would have to rethink the whole alien invasion thing.