Scary Movie Critics

Sure, I feel sorry for Ben Wasserstein. Not only for having to sit through yet another Scary Movie sequel, but also for having to come up with something interesting to say about it other than: bad recycled gags, waste of time (which is pretty much what he takes 864 words to say). I only made it through the first one, and that only because I was something of a hostage of a blonde-haired fiasco. (There’s a story here involving an ex-flame, a weeklong beach vacation paid for by her father, lots of alcohol and callow bickering, and a brand new red Saab--but I’ll spare you.) But Slate is going to have to get its act together with its movie criticism. Between Dana, Stephen, Grady and the DVD Extras lineup, which changes about as often as Lindsay Lohan puts on new clothes, the webzine is seriously lacking in focus when it comes to film criticism. Are the comment rumors true? Did Dana get the spot only to be temporarily foiled by an infant? I’m dyin’ here, people.