ALARM! :: I should have told you that movies in the afternoon are my weakness.

"Nobody should be a mystery intentionally. Unintentionally is mysterious enough."

Monday, April 10, 2006

Assets. Right.

IMDB News, a boneheaded celeb-tabloid that masquerades as a movie news column, isn't exactly a fount of journalistic professionalism, but this item is ridiculous even by IMDB News (non) standards:
Jessica Simpson is set to take over Pamela Anderson's role in the long-awaited big screen version of beach TV show Baywatch. The sexy singer is set to don the infamous red swimsuit adored by many fans of the popular lifeguard series when she plays CJ Parker, the role which launched Anderson to stardom. A source tells British newspaper The Sun, "Jessica really caught the eye in The Dukes of Hazzard film last summer. She was the unanimous choice for the Baywatch role. Jessica has all the assets to make Pam's part her own." Producers hope David Hasselhoff will agree to star in the film in his original role as Mitch Buchannon.

Who was that source? Some pizza-faced 15 year old they found playing the Xbox demo at Wal-Mart? Did he preface his statement with "Hold on, I'm about to totally waste this dude. Die, bitch!" Could this alleged news item get any more juvenile? I wonder if the, erm, reporter--what a ridiculous term to describe whoever penned this crap--on the piece clarified afterwards, "So. You're talking about her breasts. Right?" To which he almost certainly replied, "Headshot! Hell yeah!" People. Honestly.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home