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I have been listening to music. What music, you ask? Well, in a surprisingly well-written review, Pitchfork recommended some flaky French disco duo, Justice, and, remembering how atrocious last year’s number one album pick, The Knife—also in the European electronic vein—was, I decided to check out the train wreck. Guess what? It’s worth listening to, a sort of Williamsburg remix of Nintendo 64 backing tracks into ironic-but-not-exactly-kidding, hot-shit, tight jeans dance record. Don’t believe me? Don’t have a clue what I’m talking about? Yeah, ditto. Fortunately the whole album is online. “Genesis” and “DANCE” are strong, but you will really want to listen to the final track, “Stress.”

The new Queens of the Stone Age, Era Vulgaris, totally brings back 1993, but in a surprisingly not annoying way. (Meaning it's not Audioslave, thank God.) It’s no Songs for the Deaf, mostly because nobody bangs the tubs like Dave Grohl (seriously—dude can pound), but gosh it makes me want to dig out my copy of Alice in Chains’ Dirt and think about moving to Seattle (but ditch the flannel and have awesome biceps). Everybody together now, “Lemme show you the riff to ‘Come as You Are!’”

Minus the Bear is disappointing live, or at least they were last time I saw them at some former Firestone-Tires-turned-club in Orlando, FL. But I got a chance to hear most of their forthcoming record, Planet of Ice, and it’s as spaced-out and sharp as ever; one of the guys in the band used to be in Botch, I think (no, I refuse to look this up; what—it’s not like you don’t have Google yourself), and the band’s technical chops and elegant algebra-core approach makes sure you don’t forget this (presuming, you know, that it’s true). This is what would happen if a bunch of really smart metalheads who also liked U2 and Death Cab for Cutie got together and jammed until it hurt, or maybe if Dillinger Escape Plan started a melodic side project.

While we’re subtracting, I’m still not entirely sure what to think of Minus Story. I usually go for the light and fluffy, pop-tinged indie folk, but My Ion Truss just hasn’t been settling quite right with me. It’s not altogether unpleasant, but so far, it’s one of those dates you don’t mind but at the end, all you think is, “Well, let’s just be friends.” Maybe friends with benefits?

Back to the Fork, they point us toward the new Menomena video, which is rather stunning (see for yourself below). Dig the slow-motion childhood funness! I felt about the same way I feel about Minus Story about Menomena’s first record, I Am the Fun Blame Monster, but I’m pretty certain their latest, Friend and Foe, is my favorite record so far this year.

The best single I’ve heard, though, might be the new Iron & Wine track, “Boy With a Coin.” Everything Iron & Wine has put out is good, but their last album, The Woman King EP, is seriously the best thing since ratty, overgrown full beards, which, for you all hipsters out there sporting the untrimmed-bushes look, Sam Beam like totally invented. Honestly, I’m nearly ready for goatees to come back. Wait, ew. No I’m not.