The true definition of riveting

Boostery hack critics who like to get quoted in ads love to throw around the term "riveting." But I suspect not many of them really know what it means. It's just one of those words, like "visceral," that has entered the pop culture critic's jargon and come to mean "good," maybe in an exciting sort of way. So, being the helpful guy I am, I looked it up:

Riveting (adj):

1. that which holds (the eye, attention, etc.) firmly.

2. 24, especially any scene with Jack Bauer.

Riveting, it's clear, was a word invented to describe everyone's favorite action blast of a television show, 24, the most extreme macho fantasy of the last decade and, not coincidentally, the fictional show that most reflects our nation's views—or at least its fears—regarding the war on terror. Intentionally over the top in almost every possible way, the show posits a world where terror has become a regular part of the American landscape. This season it's especially true. Instead of trying to prevent an imminent attack, the show's hero, Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland), is trying to put a stop to a terror wave that's already in progress. Fortunately, Bauer, a do-whatever-it-takes public protector, is the epitome of the modern action hero: a hypercompetent, single-minded terrorist killin' machine who, through 6 seasons, has never stopped to eat, sleep, or use the restroom. In fact, he once actually died and then continued working. Talk about productivity levels--that's devotion to your job.

Mostly, of course, 24 is built to relentlessly bludgeon its viewers with suspense. Each and every week, it straps you in, pulls out the pliers and the blowtorch, and goes to work—and it's jarringly effective. Partly this is due to the creative lengths that the show's writers go to in order to drum up suspense. In the same way that horror movie mavens attempt to satisfy hardcore gore fiends with ever more creative methods of death and dismemberment, the writers of 24 seek to jolt viewers with continually more twisted situations for their hero, Jack Bauer.

Thankfully for all of the besieged residents of 24's America, Bauer is up to all of them. He's Superman, except he doesn't need powers; he's traded the suit, cape, and American flag for a pistol, a cell phone and the ability to override any order, public or private, simply by barking, "I'm a federal agent."

This season looks like most of the others: explosions, mad plots, terrorists with bad accents and what seems to be unlimited funding and manpower. Surely by this point the henchman's union must be demanding some sort of extra compensation for any job that requires facing off against Bauer. He takes out machine gun-toting terrorists by the dozen; we don't need a surge—just send Bauer to Baghdad.