Whoever Wins, We Lose
Aliens VS. Predator ought to have been an easy home-run. No studio would have the (ripped-out) guts to make an AVP film without any humans, but with that as the primary limitation, the plot ought to have been easy. A team of heavily armed, highly trained marines/space pirates/futuristic private security badasses crash-lands on a planet that turns out to be teeming with aliens, which we quickly discover is the alien homeworld. They run into a Predator hunting party, have a series of escalating battles with both species and along the way discover some of the secrets of how the alien race lives, culminating in a Predator/human team-up against the alien hordes and a final escape on a Predator shuttle. Not many survive and those that do are beaten and bruised. Lots of machine guns, gigantic explosions, macho dialog and general mayhem—a high-velocity acid bloodbath.
But of course, with Paul “I am the worst genre director alive” Anderson at the helm, we got 90 minutes of snoozeworthy incomprehensibile PG-13 rated drivel--the kiddie friendly after school special version of the film. This is not surprising coming from the director behind Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil, and Soldier, a man whose best movie is the Sam-Neill-is-the-Devil-on-a-spaceship film, Event Horizon. Sci-fi Channel original pictures are high art compared to this guy’s output. Now
I continue to be at loss for why
1 Comments:
don't forget about Uwe Boll...
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