Critical scourging from the paper of record

Normally, the film critics at the New York Times--especially those on the lower rungs--play it pretty safe with their reviews. At 350-400 words a pop, the last-stringers (who are often quite brilliant critics in longer form) don't have much room for more than an intro, a summary, a judgement, and maybe one small observation. If you're lucky, you get a closing witticism. But occassionally, a film is so execreble that it calls for desperate measures. Witness the opening paragraph of Jeanette Catsoulis' review of Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector:

Unpleasant, uncouth and painfully unfunny, "Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector" attempts lowbrow humor with neither the wit of the Farrelly brothers nor the raunchy inventiveness of Keenen Ivory Wayans. Aiming at audiences for whom no comedy is complete without lower-intestinal distress and projectile vomiting, the movie pursues its unsanitary goals with a relentlessness that makes "Dumb and Dumber" seem the epitome of sophistication. Prepare to be overcome with an irresistible urge to wash your hands afterward.

And you thought The Passion was brutal.