A Slate of films

After a flurry of traffic and activity earlier this week, things have died down a bit due to that unfortunate recurring event, finals week. Since you asked, I’ll say that it wasn’t nearly as bad as it often is, but this is somewhat balanced by the fact that I have to endure it twice this summer because of the 6 week terms.

Since then, Slate’s been going movie-crazy with its Summer Movies Issue,* which has been imminently enjoyable throughout.

Bay and Summer go together like gasoline and matches

Bryan Curtis’ defense of Michael Bay makes him a man – nay, a Man – after my own heart. I have long sided against Bay’s snotty detractors, choosing instead to revel in the unhinged cinematic testosterone shots he delivers with such punch. As much as I love gritty 70’s social commentary film and ambiguous foreign cinema, I was raised on celluloid spectacle, and Mr. Bay delivers the bang like no one else.

Say it ain’t so, Joe

But delivering is apparently not in WSJ critic Joe Morgenstern’s repertoire. Slate’s movie coverage was supposed to feature one of their signature conversation/arguments, this time between Slate’s own movie-magistrate David Edelstein and Mr. Morgenstern. The topic – “Did George Lucas and Steven Spielberg Ruin the Movies” – is a familiar question for cinemaniacs during the heated months, but it’s one that won’t get answered this week. Joe’s response to David’s opener is nowhere to be found. Will these arrogant critics never learn? Just because you win a Pulitzer doesn’t mean you can leaving our man hanging like that.

Box-office insanity looks to bloggers

Michael Agger takes up a lot of space to reveal what most people who follow the box-office already know: movie crowds are fickle. Sure, it drives the studios batty,** but it also keeps them at least willing to try new things on occasion. If consumer science ever nailed down a true blockbuster formula, we’d be stuck with 12 months of summer (which, I suppose, compared to this Spring, wouldn’t be so bad). It goes on, however, to suggest that internet movie reviews just might be the future of film marketing. Maybe I’m in the right business after all.***

Big freakin’ teeth

Rebecca Onion’s article on shark films makes a good recap of the genre, but doesn’t mention that CHUD siterunner Nick Nunziata is currently producing a new super shark film, Meg, with Guillermo del Toro, of annoyingly-difficult-to-type-name fame. Who knows what will happen when the first generation of net movie geeks start getting their various films into production? The only thing that’s certain is that it will further crowd the web with aspiring movie dorks, all hoping that some a lot of bad copy and ellipses will put their shitty genre film into production.

*How does one have an “issue” at a daily webzine? I fear I shall live a long time with this question unanswered.

**Hopefully Chris Nolan style.

***Ok – kidding, but it’s a nice fantasy for about 3 seconds.