DVD Duds Returns: Now, worse puns, more lowbrow!

The Aviator – Crashes and burns.

Are We There Yet – No, and watching this movie will just make it longer.

Pooh’s Heffalump Movie – I still think it’s funny that they named a children’s hero “Pooh.” I wonder if I could get rich off my own innocent, huggable stuffed protagonist named Crappy or Weener.

I, Robot: All-Access Collector’s Edition – Will Smith and company turn Isaac Asimov into Isuck ASSalot. Could they possibly have dumbed this down any more?

The Day After Tomorrow: The Collector’s Edition – The day after tomorrow is Memorial Day Sunday. I’m gittin’ DRUNK, bitch!...you know, to honor the military and stuff.

Back in the Day – We wuz dealin and dint have no tight ridez.

Law & Order: The Third Year – It’s strange to think that before Dick Wolf and his merry band of spinoffs came calling, we had no law or order in this country. I miss the good old days, when anarchy ruled and riots were a perfectly reasonable weekend activity. Seriously, how long has it been since you’ve enjoyed the fruits of a day spent looting or hung out with friends at a Molotov cocktail party?

The Andy Griffith Show: The Complete Second Season – [whistles theme song]

Through the Back Door – This 1921 film had no idea of the juvenile, gay, sexual implications its title would hold in future decades. Fortunately, I am here to exploit them now.